Anoopa Sharma

Here are some new details on Thursday's memory-tree planting at Emory!

The service, led by the Emory Chaplain, will last about 20 to 30 minutes:

• Greeting
• Friends & family are invited to share readings, poems, memories, etc.
• Guests are invited to help fill in the hole in which the tree has been partially planted
• Closing - led by Chaplain, guests read aloud

Dear Friends,

If you wish to share something to be read on your behalf at the Tree Planting ceremony on Thursday 9 March, please email me at asharma3@gmu.edu. I will be leaving for Atlanta early Thursday; please email by Wednesday 8:00 PM so I have time to coordinate the readings.

If you are unable to email soon, please be sure to post your memories/prayers for Anoopa here, using the "Messages" link at the top of the page.

Thanks for your prayers and support.

Anita

During the recent holidays Dennis and members of his
family visited the girls’ School (Amar Chand Kanya
Inter College) in Atrauli, India and met with the
School Manager, the Principal and the Director of a
Non-Profit Organization (Samaj Seva Samiti, through
which funds will be transferred to the school) to
visit the project site and discuss the next steps in
start-up of the project of refurbishing the school
with much needed facilities.

The School Manager has submitted a proposal for the
construction and establishing a library, a computer
room and a lecture room – all located contiguously
with partitions that can be opened to make a big hall
to accommodate larger groups for school functions. The
cost of the proposal is Rs. 19.4 lakhs (US$43,000) of
which school will contribute Rs. 3.69 lakhs ($8,200),
and thus requesting $34,800 from Anoopa Sharma
Memorial Funds. The School Manager informed us that
the construction can begin in March and will be
completed by October 2006. He plans to send me a
construction and payments schedule. Once I get this I
will be sending all of the proceeds from the Anoopa
Sharma Memorial Fund (Approx. $10,000) as the first
payment to begin the first phase of the construction,
i.e., procurement of all of the construction
materials.

During the meeting, Dennis raised the issue of
competitive and transparent procurements to reduce
costs and potential audit of the expenditures. The
School Manager gave his word that he will do his best
to keep all of the records so any contributor can come
and check the records.

Based on the above cost estimates, an additional sum
of $24,800 are needed ASAP to commit to the project.
Sharma Family will contribute $10,000 for the project.
The balance of $14,800 must be raised through the
website or other campaigns. We request everyone’s
assistance and cooperation to succeed in this project.

On a parallel track Sharmas have filed papers with the
IRS to establish a not-for-profit organization –
Anoopa Sharma Children Foundation. We will post it on
the net as soon as we get the IRS approval so people
can make tax deductible contribution to the
organization. Thank you.

Best wishes in the New Year!

Memorial Reward

In memory of Anoopa on her 25th birthday, September 7, 2005, the Department of Epidemiology, Rollins School of Public Health, Emory University, established the Anoopa Sharma Award for Research in Epidemiology. The award recognizes a graduate student who is pursuing public health research in the under-served populations of the world.

This year’s recipient of the Anoopa Sharma Award for Research in Epidemiology is Erin Murray, a Ph.D. student at Emory. Erin and Anoopa worked together researching in Bangledesh, and they grew a friendship that continued back at Emory. Erin posted a wonderful message to Anoopa here on her site in March:

You are a fantastic friend and one of the most amazing people I have ever known. I will cherish the time we had together, particularly our time in Bangladesh. You made my experience better than I could have imagined, and it would not have been the same without you. Your spirit and enthusiam got me out of the guest house and onto the streets of Dhaka, a scary adventure for someone who had never been outside of North America before! By the time you were finished helping me get my international traveling feet beneath me, I was able to wander the streets of Kathmandu and travel in India by myself, and I thank you for that. I also thank you for getting me to Nepal and India, and for making me a part of your family in Delhi for a few days before we parted ways.

A piece of Anoopa will carry on through the work Erin continues to pursue! Best wishes to Erin.

Anoopa Sharma Memorial Fund

Work continues on Anoopa's pet project to improve the facilities at the girls school in Atrauli, India. Your contributions continue to build funds for the project - THANK YOU! Plans are being developed for construction of a school auditorium/community center and library. Anoopa's father Dennis Sharma and his brother are in discussions with the school’s management regarding their needs, a potential cost-sharing plan, project management and start-up. It is hoped that these discussions will be concluded over the next few months so the construction can begin early next year.

Thanks from the Sharma Family

The following is a letter sent earlier this month by Anoopa's mother Anita Sharma to Missy McCall of Emory:

Dear Ms. McCall,
I am very thankful for the Anoopa Sharma Award plaque, agenda, photos and videotape you sent us. FedEx re-routed the package from Santa Rosa, California to Virginia. We are glad that it wasn't lost, and is finally here, with us.
It is very kind and thoughtful of Dr. Mandel to have a plaque made for us as well. Seeing Anoopa's picture engraved in brass was touching. I am pleased to have this plaque as a constant reminder of how deep an impact Anoopa made on students, staff and faculty of the Emory School of Public Health. We hope that Anoopa's dream of serving the health needs
of poor around the world will inspire the Emory students for years to come.
Please keep us informed about the tree planting, as and when it takes place.

Sincerely,
Anita Sharma

Atlanta Fox 5 News recently had a follow-up coverage on Anoopa. It's just under six minutes long and is very nicely done.

Thanks again go to John Brunet and Jack Houman at the Rollins School of Public Health for their help with capturing and editing the video.

VIDEO: AnoopaNewsPart2.wmv (5 megs)

First, many many thanks to all the generous contributors to the Anoopa Sharma Children's Foundation! Our resources are steadily building, and everyone's involvement is deeply appreciated.

Second, research into the high school's needs is in progress. This past Saturday Amy's sister Jess and her husband Jim took the last day of their honeymoon in India to visit Atrauli. (Jess knew Anoopa at Duke and afterward.) Jess and Jim had the opportunity to meet with school officials and tour the facilities. They will soon be sharing photos of and information about the high school here on the site. Please check back for the update!

We have uploaded many more pictures of Anoopa to the photo album. And we will soon be posting the follow-up on Anoopa's story by Atlanta's Fox News.

This year's Rollins School of Public Health merit scholarships were given in honor of Anoopa's memory. The text of the announcement:

The Graduating Class Gift Campaign (GCGC) Scholarships are awarded to second year Rollins School of Public Health students who have made significant, positive impact through service to the Emory and Atlanta community during their time at the Rollins School of Public Health.

In tribute and in recognition for the positive effect she had on many of us here at Rollins, especially among our first year class community, the 2005 GCGC Committee is dedicating this year's Scholarships in memory of Anoopa Sharma.

Through her writings, through her work and through the friendships she created in our community, Anoopa Sharma encouraged us to make an impact on the lives of those around us. In honoring Anoopa's memory in this way, the Class of 2005 recognizes the diverse and wide circle of friends Anoopa enjoyed both here and throughout the world. Anoopa's deep connections
and intense commitment to her public health work have inspired us all.

To learn more about the scholarships and the GCGC please visit
http://www.sph.emory.edu/alumni_gradgift.php.

To learn more about Anoopa Sharma, please visit http://www.anoopa.net

The 2005 GCGC Committee

There has been a change in scheduling to the Atlanta Fox 5 piece called "Anoopa's Gift." Instead of airing last Friday, April 29 it will air this Thursday, May 5 at 5:00pm on Atlanta's Fox 5 Local News. Please email Amy (see link on right) if you will be able to record the piece for the Sharma's and eventually for the website. We'll need to have it in digital format for the site but can start with VHS. Of course if you can convert it to digital for us too, that would be great! Thank you in advance.

Dear All,

Here is a news flash. A follow up interview with, Anoopa's kidney recipient (my sister), was recently done and will be on Atlanta's Fox Local news. Please watch it, record it, tell your freinds/coworkers about it... Spread the word at Emory etc... If you can help converted it into a digital format so we can post it on the website, please do so and send it to Amy.

Thanks for all your help, prayers and support. HUGS and kisses to all.

Anita

From Anoopa's sister Uttama:

Thanks to all who attended Anoopa's memorial service and to those who have contributed to Anoopa's memorial fund.

For those who missed the memorial service below is the rough schedule of events:

1. Nidhi gave an outline of events.
2. Uttama spoke about Anoopa.
3. Slideshow of pictures.
   I still haven't found what I'm looking for and With or Without You by U2 were played.
4. Havan - chanting and fire with offerings.
5. Puja - prayer.
6. Molly sang I will remember you by Sarah Maclachlan.
7. Friends read excerpts of Anoopa's writing.
8. Friends shared memories, songs, thoughts about Anoopa.
9. Fox TV piece shown.
10. African Dancing tape shown.
11. Arti - singing.
12. Dad/Dennis Sharma spoke about Anoopa's organ donation.
13. Prasad taken - food offered to God and blessed by God.
14. Small reception with food and drinks.

For those of you who asked, here is a rough approximation of my speech about Anoopa:

Anoopa was my little sister, my only sibling. I would venture to say that I knew her perhaps better than anyone, even my parents, because I have spent the most time with her and having been closer in age she chose to share more of her thoughts and secrets with me. For example, I have met or been told about every single boyfriend she ever had, starting with the first grade. Also, my sister and I had probably 90% of our interests in common and so we always had many things to talk about. People often take their siblings for granted but in the past few weeks I realized how crucial this relationship was to me, even though we have been living apart for some time because I find myself thinking, I wonder what Anoopa would think about that and I want to tell her about this but then I realize that I can no longer call her, email her, write her a letter, or wait until our next visit together.

I have been thinking about what it means to have lost my one and only sister. Although I may some day marry and gain a 'life partner' my spouse will not actually be a life partner. He will be a partner for just part of my life. But had my sister lived, she would have been a true life partner, especially in my case, as we were born only 1 year and 10 months apart. There is no one else in the world who can know me in the way she did.

And I have so many questions. Does Anoopa know she is gone? Does she know she will not be able to pursue her many dreams? Can she see the literally hundreds of people who love her and are suffering from her loss? I hope so. Does she see the silly jokes my parents and I say to each other when we are alone and sit around the kitchen table at night. Like my dad voicing his concern about my rock climbing hobby, telling me, "Well, you know, Uttama, the pressure is on you to stay alive."

I have innumerable memories of her. When we were young, we traveled a lot with my parents and developed what we called our 'sleeping system'. We would sit side by side and she would lay her head on my lap and I would lay my head on her back. After a few hours, we would groggily wake up and switch positions and fall back asleep instantly. This served us well for years and years on car trips and air plane trips and even as we got older.

When she was young, she was extremely shy and would ask me questions that she was afraid of asking to adult strangers. I would say, "Why don't you ask so and so?" And she would say, "Will you do it?" And I would and I would worry about her because what would she do when I was not with her? But I saw her blossom into a more confident and outgoing woman in high school and remember being surprised by her boisterous comments to strangers later on in life.

One of our closest periods was during high school, partly because we became strong allies against our parents, fighting wars demanding later curfews and laxer dating rules. Of course, we had no idea how strong the front we were fighting against was.

On weekends she worked as a DJ at the Fairfax Ice Arena and I would meet her there after I finished working as a hostess at a nearby restaurant. After she finished we would hang out and talk to the other guys, always conscious of the clock and predicting our parents reprimands. We would come home, eat ice cream in the kitchen, and never run out of the things to say, while my parents would be in bed. Then we quietly went up to the bathroom, brushing our teeth, and laughing, and my dad would inevitably get out of bed to say "What are you guys talking about? Go to bed!!" We could've talked forever.

Even though we lived together at home and saw each other every day, we still wrote notes to each other while we were in school and apart. One New Year's Eve we abandoned our parents and went to a cheap, local restaurant and chatted for hours. A few years ago I returned to the restaurant and the food looked so unappetizing in my eyes and the atmosphere so uninviting that I was surprised at my good memories of the place. I realized it was the endlessly engaging and delightful company that had colored my memory.

We made so many plans together. We talked for years about co-authoring a book about my parents experiences and their families' stories. I think we separately came to the realization that our parents were our greatest heroes, who set wonderful examples of discipline, hard work, generosity, courage, commitment, and love. And of course, they gave us constant encouragement and had complete confidence that my sister and I could do whatever we wished with our lives if we just put our minds to it. The kind, intelligent person she was is a reflection of the quality of her parents.

We also hoped to live near each other when we were older, so that our children would be more like siblings rather than cousins, as they are in India, and pass freely from house to house.

We hoped that one day we would work on a research project abroad in an exotic 3rd world country. She would be the head investigator and I would be the head physician and of course, our husbands, would follow us and be the nurses.

A friend recently said to me that Anoopa was my greatest supporter and she was. And I was hers. About a week before the mcats-medical college admission test-I came home after a long day in an empty library (it was spring) to find the door of my dorm papered with colorful signs she had made cheering me on, telling me, "You can do it!" Likewise, she would call or email me when she was lonely on one of her long journeys away and wishing she could return home sooner.

Anoopa knew me better than anyone else. She always encouraged me to notice my faults and improve on them while at the same time she never faultered in her confidence in me.

I always felt happiest at her graduations and award ceremonies and I believe she felt happiest at mine. We were always like that. In her graduation pictures, I am the one with the biggest smile and vice versa.

I am glad Anoopa brought happiness, inspiration, and love into the lives of so many others. It is a comfort to share this grief with so many others who also loved her. I, along with so many others, was blessed to have her in my life for the time I did.

Thank you Uttama!

Jim Brown is a colleague of Anoopa's father. He spoke at the memorial, inspired by a dream the night before in which he saw Anoopa. After the memorial he wrote this email to his three daughters:

April 2, 2005

My Daughters,

Yesterday I went to the Hindu funeral for the 24 year-old daughter of a colleague. Her name is Anoopa Sharma. A wonderful website has been created for her by her friends, www.anoopa.net. Please visit it.

Although I did not personally know her, what I have learned of her indicates she was in many ways a remarkable girl. Since you are about the same age, I found myself moved deeply by the event – I mourned for the parents and sister (she was very close to her 25 year old sister), for whom the sense of loss is enormous and will never end – I mourned for the girl, who obviously had so much promise.

Friends and relatives spoke during the service. I was asked by the mother to speak too because I told her I had dreamed about Anoopa the night before and dreams are very important in Asia. The speakers talked about Anoopa and what her death meant. Your Mother and I also talked about it both before and after.

Because it moved me deeply, I want to share some of my thinking with you. I hope you will share some of your thinking on this subject with me.

The central question of course is if there is a God, and this God loves us, why would He take such a young, promising person? The typical Christian and Islamic answer to this is “We cannot know the ways of God which are inscrutable to mere humans. He knows what He is doing.”

My response to this is that this notion is very primitive anthropomorphism. Through religious history, we have tended to see our gods as extensions of ourselves. We make images of gods that look like us or like animals.

I believe something quite different. I think there is an organizing Principle. This Principle makes everything work. However, this is not a merely mechanical Principle, such as Hobbes created. I believe this Principle is conscious (although any concept we might have of consciousness would be very primitive relative to the consciousness of this Principle). I believe for instance that Love emanates from the consciousness of this Principle. I believe that each of us somehow is part of this consciousness. We are part of a whole, yet we are also individual. Also as part of the consciousness of this Principle, we do not die. We persist.

I believe another aspect of this Principle is change and growth. As a result, as elements of this Principle, we are always changing and growing. Often the changing and growing of the infinite numbers of individual consciousnesses seem to result in their colliding and destroying each other. However, this is an illusion. Just as in physics, the collisions are part of the growth. Since as individuals, we can’t see the whole, we cannot tell what the result of the impact is, just as when one element in an atom hits another and shoots off at an angle, we cannot tell what the result will be. Neither element is destroyed. It is just deflected.

Modern physics seems to support this theory. Energy and matter are not destroyed. They are just changed back and forth. We have no proof in science that anything is ever destroyed. Growth is everywhere manifested. The universe is expanding. Everything in nature over the millennia has become more complex.

So where does that leave Anoopa? Just where she was and where she has always been! The Buddhists and the Hindus believe that the soul never dies but is reborn until it achieves “Enlightenment.” They believe life is a dream. They believe the rebirth is on this earth, within this dream. I agree. I think life goes on forever. I believe it is a dream. However, I believe because it is a dream, the next life can be ANY dream, not necessarily this one. Also, I believe that since growth is an organizing aspect of Principle, that you never reach Enlightenment. Growth continues forever.

A related interesting question deriving from the above explanation is: if this life is illusion, as the Hindus and Buddhists believe, where does this illusion come from? Does Principle create it? I think not. The illusion exists in our individual minds and emanates from our limited perspective and level of development. As we grow and change, so does the illusion.

Many religions have a concept of Hell and Purgatory. I believe THIS life is the only Hell or Purgatory we will ever experience. We make this illusion either Heaven or Hell, but most often, a combination of each. But I believe the Hell aspect is just as important, perhaps MORE important than the Heaven part. My experience is that the Heaven part is a resting period. We grow little if at all. It is the Hell part that imparts growth, as we are deflected by life’s collisions. And since growth is the basic aspect of Principle, Hell is the important part of our illusion.

Another fascinating question is what relationship do we as individual entities have to each other? The Buddhists believe that you children we born to us because we owed you a debt from our past life. I believe something a bit different. I believe some of the individual entities have relationships with each other because although we are all parts of a single consciousness, we are all individual as well. As such, we have particularly strong connectedness with certain other individuals because in some way we are particularly well suited to support each other’s growth. I think this special connectedness persists through eternity. Thus, the parents, children, friends, husbands we have in this life have been connected to us forever and will continue to be forever.

What does all this have to do with Anoopa? First, Anoopa persists. We do not see her, because she has collided with another and has been sent off in another trajectory. The collision has resulted not only in change but in growth. Just because we cannot see her any longer in the illusion we have created does not mean she is not present for her family and friends. She is part of consciousness, which is everywhere. She will remain a part of the relationships of her parents, sister, and friends through eternity. They will “see” her again as illusion succeeds illusion succeeds illusion, succeeds illusion.

In the meantime, they experience the pain of parting, which will not end but will subside. Her parents and sister experienced this illusion as Heaven when they experienced the joys of having Anoopa physically with them. Now they will experience the Hell of not having Anoopa physically with them. This will pass. Then they will experience the Heaven of having Anoopa physically with them again in a different illusion. Then they will experience the Hell of not having her physically with them. So the wheel of illusion turns. Perhaps the stage of “Enlightenment” comes when we reach some stage in our growth when we can actually understand that life is illusion and that our individuality persists and that our relatedness remains through eternity. However, for now and perhaps for eternity, the pain and suffering we experience is somehow one of the main motive forces which lead to our growth. The constant collision between individuals in the universe of consciousness hurts, but it provides the impulse for change.

Here is an interesting question that derives from the above argument: is the young boy who physically collided with and killed Anoopa one of those particularly connected to her growth through eternity? I think that if you accept the argument of these pages, he is.

I love you through Eternity.

Dad

Thank you for sharing this.

I think it would be nice if everybody said a little something about today for those that were not able to attend.

You can use the Comments link here or email us and we'll post it.

Information under the previous blog entry "Planning for the memorial service in Virginia" is being updated as we approach the memorial, this Saturday, April 2, at 3pm. Please check for details and updates there.

To honor Anoopa and her wishes to help the needy, her family, Dennis, Anita, and Uttama Sharma have established the Anoopa Sharma Children's Foundation (ASCF). The Fund will provide support for a school in North India which Dennis and Anoopa visited together in the summer of 2004. The school is the girls’ high school in a small village called Atrauli, which is where Dennis was born. Atrauli is in the state of Uttar Pradesh.

Anoopa and Dennis were appalled and saddened to find so much lacking in basic school needs. They agreed that they would find some way to help improve the conditions at the school - merit scholarships, library, desks and chairs, drinking water fountain, repair of classrooms and other much needed facilities at the school. The Sharma’s hope that the people whom Anoopa touched might find this a fitting and gratifying opportunity to help execute a project Anoopa hoped to work on herself.

Contributions can be sent to:

ANOOPA SHARMA CHILDRENS FUND
Act# 255785000
Lafayette Federal Credit Union
3535 University Blvd. West
Kensington, MD 20895
U.S.A.

To contact Lafayette Federal Credit Union:

(301) 929-7990, www.LFCU.org

IRS Tax ID # 20-3759640

You can also make a donation right now using Paypal.com. Using Paypal you can sign up for a free account to pay directly from a checking account. You can also make a donation using your credit or debit card, but please note Paypal will keep 3% of your payment as a service fee. Use the link to the right.

The Fund will be managed by Anoopa's parents. Your contributions will help the school in tangible ways we look forward to telling you about soon. We think Anoopa would be proud to see us working together and learning the best ways to reach out internationally to help those in need.

Photo of Anoopa in Atrauli

Photo of the house in which Dennis grew up